February 27, 2014


Many times I have come to a crossroad. That’s when I am at a point I am not sure on the decisions that I have to make in my life. There are always the cluttered mind, uneasiness, fear, lost, helpless feeling. The fear of making a decision that later on I will regret I ever made it.

Coming to a crossroad is like having lost the intuition guide that’s always there to call upon whenever I need it. That’s when fear engulfed my conscience. And I will feel utterly hopeless.

It is quite frequent – of me meeting this crossroad, that at times, I become quite harsh on myself. Berating to my own – my little inner me, “Shouldn't this get easier to decide as you have been at this crossroad many many times before? Haven't you learn a thing or by now already?”

But often times I get ashamed, ashamed of my intellectual self when the little inner soft voice residing in me – almost like small hurt child questioning back, “How would I have known? If I have all the answers, do you think I will still let you go through this pain? It pains me more.”

At this crossroad – of the decisions I finally made, sometimes I triumphed, other times I crumbled. And when I crumbled, even with feelings of lost, hurt, dejection – I tell myself to get right back up again, always. Its is not easy to pick myself up, there are usually emotional, mental and spiritual bruises to show. But I tell myself, always tell myself – it’s okay. And that is how I always persevered, right up to this day.

Images courtesy of David Niblack