November 22, 2008

Rejoice or Recoil

I was busy ‘attending’ to my writing (was actually thinking hard of a particular meaning of a word at the time), when suddenly I sensed someone walking towards to where I was sitting, I was in Starbucks cafe. When that person was finally in front of me, I looked up and this guy tilted his head down a bit to my eye level (I was sitting on a low sofa) and he candidly asked in Hokkien – ‘Can you recognise me?’. I could not but he seemed rather familiar though.

Then he continued – ‘Form Six – Han Chiang High School, remember? I was with this group of friends......’. He mentioned a few names that I know. Then, instantly I recalled – he was my ex-classmate of 2 years when we were studying in Form Six! And boy, did he really changed – his appearance but more obvious, was his confidence level. I remembered he was always being teased during school for his small dark skinny stature and his looks and he was conscious of it.

We were in the same clique of friends, all 12 of us - half dozen are girls, the other half boys (one guy unfortunately passed away in a road accident one year after graduation). During school holidays, we would organise apartment stays, BBQs, trips – one was Genting Highlands, etc. But surprisingly, I was never close to any one of them – I just wanted to be in a group, you know, to feel belong for identity purposes – it’s the teenager phase thing then. This was many, many years back – how many? Sigh....double digit number of years.

After we reminisced and asking about how everyone’s doing... we wished each other the best of luck and he went off. I happily continued with my writing while thinking that it was nice to know and see an old acquaintance doing well. But then, while half way reflecting, it suddenly dawned on me that – how come he changed so much for the better (appearance wise) until I need to take a second guess while he had spotted and recognised me so easily. And that was how this debate got started.

Question is – should I make myself happy by believing I have not aged that much at all, that’s why he can still recognise me (+) OR poor me, I actually had not evolved at all (metamorphosis = nil). You know, as they say, still stuck in the rut of the past, and that’s why he could still recognise me :(

So, which is the correct version? Gosh, this is indeed aggravating....

November 21, 2008

Relationship Revelations

It’s been a while since my last post. Fingers were eager to write but mind was stagnant. During the last month, I had a few revelations about myself and people around me after witnessing a few occurrences that happened to me and surrounding people. Made me realise that when I thought I know or had understood all about human relationships – if I actually probed further, there are still much to be learned and explore.

Since then, I had realised (not that I never knew before, but in much deeper context now) that :

- Human relations especially between men and women (romantically) are pretty complicated and utterly unpredictable. There will always be differences in ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. Both in this case will be united only for a major reason – LOVE, and ironically, the same word is also involved if both choose to separate, but this time it’s OUT-OF-LOVE.

- Human relations between parent(s) and children are undeniably strong and attached – emotionally, physically, mentally and perhaps spiritually. Whether or not, the relationship is on good terms is another matter, the attachment and bond will still affect and influence the child till old.

- Human relations between friends on platonic basis (in this case, friends of same gender) are fickle. Close friendships can be formed just about anywhere, anytime, anyhow – when common interests and values are shared. We will click and perhaps start to form a clique. But however strong the foundation of a friendship may be, it still remain forever fragile, and would disintegrate in a blink of an eye – with usually 2 reasons as the common culprit - JEALOUSY (of any aspect, usually money and status) and the involvement of a third party – a BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND had emerged – Eros blinds everything.

Nevertheless, any healthy (emotionally, mentally, spiritually) person would still need all these different shades of relationships mentioned above. It is suppose to make us whole and complete as a human being. It would feel as though we had missed a thing or two in life if we had never experience it before.

That’s us – HUMANS, forever fickle.